Jesus and the Hangover
The alarm sounded like a train running through his brain. Moaning, he tried to open his eyes as a string of profanity slipped from his parched lips. His hangover was the worst of his life. That last game of shots had been too much. At least, he had won.
His vision blurred as he sat up. Putting his feet on the floor, he reached over and grabbed his cigarettes. Lighting up and taking a long draw, he slowly stood on wobbly legs as the room swam around him.
After going to the bathroom, he checked the fridge for another beer. As he took a long first drink, he thought about the girl he met at the party. He’d been upset she could hold her whiskey so well. Next time, he might have to slip something in her drink.
He had to get dressed and head out for the day. The beer would have to suffice for breakfast. After that weed last night, he had had the munchies and had eaten all the snacks.
The light blinded him as he opened the door. Shielding his eyes, he set out to his destination hoping his stomach would stay calm.
Walking up to his friends, they greeted each other with profanity. They were bragging about the girls they had had last night. Sure, they were mostly lies, but he joined in. Harmless fun.
Heading up the mountain, his dry mouth screamed for another beer. He steeled himself as he looked out at the people before him. The sheer numbers awed him as he muttered another profanity under his breath.
He lit up another cigarette and said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted…”
WAIT!! This never happened! Jesus never did these things! Nor did His apostles! What are you talking about?!?!
Of course, they didn’t and they would never have even considered doing them. So, why do so many Christians do them? (Romans 12:1-2).