Why Affection is so Important to Marriage
Thomas and Maggie sat in marriage counseling. Maggie dabbed at her swollen eyes as she cried about Thomas’ refusal to be affectionate to his wife of 32 years.
The counselor asked Thomas why he was cold towards her.
“That’s silly stuff. I won’t do it.”
“Maggie, did Thomas kiss you when you were dating?”
“All the time! I had to fight him off. Thomas even kissed me on our first date.”
“Did he hold your hand?”
Maggie smiled. “Absolutely! He was so romantic, bringing me flowers and candy.”
“Thomas, what changed?”
Thomas frowned. “Isn’t it obvious? I was a kid then. Look at me now!”
“Thomas, do you still love her?”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“This is stupid. I’m leaving.”
Thomas slammed the door and Maggie was crushed.
A year later, the counselor saw Thomas in the park holding hands and kissing a new woman. Clearly, he had forgotten he was too old for affection.
A marriage without affection is like being frozen. We must be connected intimately with our spouse. Skin hunger is a very real thing.
Living without that connectivity leaves us empty. We cannot be one flesh with another person without affection. Being married roommates is desperately sad.
God commands us to be intimate. We are to be one in every way with our spouse (Genesis 2:18-25). Solomon begins his ode to passion in marriage, with the Shulamite woman saying, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (Song of Solomon 1:2).
We must never let the passion die in our marriage. Marital love cannot breathe without affection. Our bodies are not ours and we must be fully engaged with our partner (1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
Start today with a touch, a hug and a kiss and rediscover what you have lost!